Falling apart
by Errol's Feather
Summary: It is only when Emma is off to war for the second time that Emma truly falls apart.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: **_I was looking at this picture and I thought about what would Emma/JMO look like in a navy uniform and this drabble came to me, and there it played over and over in my head and I was filled with sadness. Silly I know.

* * *

_**Falling apart**_

"Do you have to go?" Henry asked, looking at his mother, all dressed in a navy white uniform, dog tags around the neck and everything.

"I do, I am if I don't I am a deserter, you will take care of him right?" asked Emma, looking over at the brunette.

"Henry, dear, give us a moment," Regina hated this, last time Emma had gone she had been gone for almost a year and she had only been home for about four months. Emma had figured she would want to do it after they had gotten back after saving Henry and Neal. She of course had enrolled, done the courses and being shipped off to war. Regina looked at her, she couldn't do this again, and worrying, wondering if she got back, and she hated it. She would never admit it though; fearing she would get the phone Emma was no longer….

Henry nodded and left the room, leaving his mommies to themselves. Before Emma could even think Regina had pulled her into an embrace, hugging her hard, tears she didn't even knew she had falling from her eyes.

Daring to hold her she whispered, "Regina, what the hell?!"

"Don't go, please, don't leave me," She was clinging to her now, much like a broken wife and they weren't even together.

"Regina?" Emma questioned again, wondering what on earth had happened to this otherwise strong and gathered woman to fall apart like this.

"I….last you were away I was worried sick about you, wondering if I would ever see you again. As I am your emergency call I was afraid to not hear you call to tell me that you fought, some fellow man or woman died, that you were dead. That I would be the one telling Henry," she got out under her sobs.

"Why do you care, why now, I though you hated me," Emma said, confused still.

"As did I until just now, please promise you will come back," Regina whispered, desperation in every word, fear.

"You know I can't…" Emma said there was only a 50-50 chance.

"Promise me, I need to hear you say it," she whispered, feeling more tears pressing on. She didn't care.

"I promise I will come back and when I do I will find you and make love to you good," Emma said, wondering where the heck that came from.

"Good, because I need you here, by my side, always," Regina whispered, before she knew it she was kissing Emma hard through her tears, until she ran out of breath. Her heart stood still, the world was spinning, Emma was blushing.

"Tell Henry goodbye, I don't need another crying Mills," a vague smile.

"Oh Emma, I love you," she whispered wondering where that came from, her heart most likely, her brain wasn't working she knew.

"I love you too, promise you will take care of our son like last," Emma said, now her tears was pressing on.

"Don't I always?" She whispered.

"You do," her tone soft as velvet, a final kiss to her love, was she even thinking it, oh to hell with logic, she kissed her once more. Then she walked out and the door slammed shut.

Regina's tears was flooding over as her (wo)man was off to fight in another war.

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Thank you so much for reading, would love to hear what you thought :o)


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's Note: _**I am not sure if cellphones or so would work on a navy ship, but as this is a story I have chosen to do it. Also Henry would be about 14 going on 15 in this story, and so the years "they have been together" is from the pilot when they first met.

* * *

**_Playing risky _**

"Base to Princess, base to princess, do you read me?" Emma heard the control tower on the ship she was stationed at say.

"I read," she said with a sigh, she knew her recent move might cause her to be grounded.

"What are your position?" asked the base leader.

"Flying over enemy lines, nearing the nest, taking heavy fire," Emma said, she should have turned around when they started to fire. Still she was so close to their target that she wished to keep going.

"Abort mission and fly back," he said.

"Alright, we'll call on our guys, out," said she and changed the frequency saying, "Hook, Sandman do you read me?"

"Yeah we read you," she heard from both.

"Mission abort, back to the ship," she said making them confirm they were flying back as well. Side by side they said, and once they had landed and gotten out her copilot said, "You okay, Princess?"

"I'm good, Rex, what a rush huh?" she said with a giggle.

"Close call," she heard the guy named Sandman say as he came up next to them. He had just gotten out of his plane.

"Very much so," Rex agreed.

"What is life without a little excitement," said Emma with another giggle.

"Doubt your wife would be happy if we call to say you were dead due to reckless flying," said Hook, he was named so as he had a mean right hook if angered.

"We're not married, we're not even a..." she stopped as the five guys said, "A couple we know."

"Jeez guys," said she rolling her blue eyes.

"You should call her you know, if nothing else let her know you're alive, we've been here for almost one and a half months now," said Hook.

"Yeah even I've called my wife more than that," said Sandman.

"Fine, fine, I'll make the call," said Emma with a sigh, going to her cabin to fine her cell. She found it unbelievable it was still cover out here in the middle of nowhere, but oh well. She sighed dialing Regina's number, longing to hear her voice even if she should be snappy for her not calling.

"Emma," she said her tone soft as a cat purring as she picked up.

"I'm...not sure of the time difference so I didn't know if I...should call," the blonde swallowed hard by the sound of her voice. She never thought she would have missed hearing it so much.

"You could have called at any time, I wouldn't even have cared if I was in a meeting or asleep," Regina said, she couldn't believe how good it felt knowing she was still alive.

"I'm sorry I haven't called before, I have been busy," said Emma, it was at least half true.

"I am just glad you did," said Regina, Emma could even picture her smiling now.

"How are things at your end," he voice was quivering now.

"Good, Henry is getting better when it comes to riding, and he has started skate boarding also, Neal got that for him. He spends more time time there now, we share him. I need to be alone from time to time," she stopped. She didn't want to admit Emma being gone was harder than last.

"I miss you," now her voice broke fully, why she didn't want to call in the first place. Just then when she was at her most vulnerable her copilot came in saying, "Now I've seen everything, gosh so you are a woman after all, Princess."

"Who's that?" Regina's voice sounded, not sharp as it otherwise would be.

Before Emma could answer, perhaps to clarify anything, Rex snapped the phone from Emma, saying, "Sebastian Taylor otherwise known as Rex, ma'am, I am your wife's copilot, she is a mighty fine woman."

"That she is," Regina admitted.

"You would have thought a woman here would be after us guys, but she only has eyes for you, she talks about you and your boy nonstop, I mean heck I thought I was head over heels with me gal, but she...Nothing bad though, she did that on our last mission also," he said.

"Really?" Regina was surprised by this.

"Oh yes, she couldn't wait to get home to see you, I took it you had been married for some time," he said.

"We've been in it for a good four years now, will you give me my wife back," she said.

"Yes of course, nice talking to you, Regina, was it?" he said.

"Yes, you better make sure she come home in one piece," said Regina.

"Well tell her to not take risks like today and she will," he said and handed the phone over to Emma, that gave him a glare, before he left grabbing a towel, she assumed he was going to shower.

"Risks?" Regina answered, she did not sound happy now.

"I was trying to finish a mission," said Emma.

"I want you home in one piece, Emma, you hear me," now it was Regina's voice breaking.

"Mom, are you alright?" she heard Henry's voice in the background.

"No I am not, she's playing with her life and I am stuck here trying to cope," she knew this was directing at him rather than her.

"Easy, I will try to be more careful," Emma's tone was soft now.

"I do hope so and I need you to call more often, you...you..." Emma couldn't hear anything but sobs at least until Henry took the phone and said, "Really, not nice Emma!"

Emma sighed thinking about where the time ran off to, her little boy was not little anymore her was fourteen going on fifteen and clearly more on Regina's side now than hers. Struggling to find words rather than new tears she said, "Hi kid, you are right, but we are in the middle of a war here."

"I don't care you should call mom and me more often. The woman loves you more than anything," he said with a sigh.

"Are you saying I don't love her?" the nerve of her son.

"No, just be more careful, so are you okay?" he asked her.

"I'm alive and kicking aren't I," she said with a small laugh.

"Good and you better stay that way, so other than that what is going on over there?" he asked She was about to answer when Hook came in and said, "Captain wants to see you, ma'am."

"Tell him I will be up in five?" she said, her stomach turning now.

"I will but you better be he is not happy," he said and left her.

"I got to go, I'm in so deep shit right now, put your mom on please," she said, cursing on the inside. She heard Regina's voice say, "I heard, you need to go, call me later please, I don't care what time it will be."

"I promise I will, I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," she said back, before hanging up. Emma slide the phone in the pocket of the uniform and ran upstairs. She knocked on the door saying, "Petty officer Swan first class reporting for duty as requested, ma'am."

"Swan, did I not tell you to not to fly over their territory if they held fire?" the redhead asked her, she was far from happy.

"You did ma'am, but…" Emma bit her lip, thinking, 'Please don't ground me, please don't ground me."

"You have proven to be better than your peers, you are a good navy officer and were promoted before your time, do not make me regret it," said the Captain.

"In my defense I thought we were good to go, the LT agreed and we went in, they only started firing after we had gone in," she tried, it was true, all was clear they had a green light before hell broke loose.

"I am aware of that, but when fire was made, did you retract, you were first pilot and went in first," she said.

"No ma'am, but I thought we had it under control," Emma said, looking down.

"Clearly you were wrong," she said, raising a brow.

"Clearly," Emma admitted.

"You are aware you could all have been shot down?" she asked. The blonde nodded vaguely, feeling even guiltier than she already did. The Captain knew she should punish the young woman hard for this, still she had a soft spot for her and so she said, "Grounded for a week, and cleaning the toilets in that time, now go eat, you are dismissed."

Emma nodded, glad it wasn't worse she said, "Thank you ma'am, I'll make sure to have them shining all week long."

"Glad to hear and Emma?" she said.

"Yes, ma'am," said she, surprised as she rarely called her or anyone by their first name.

"Be more careful next time, and be sure to marry that woman of yours next time you are on leave, that is an order," she said, a smile graced her lips for a second. Again Emma nodded and ran downstairs to the galley. She was starving not having eaten anything since that morning.

* * *

"I should have been more careful," Emma said, chewing on some cold potatoes and some stew. Today's dinner, it wasn't really something to write home about.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, we've all been there," said Rex, giving her a pat on the back.

"I know, but god I miss her, I think I'm gonna call it the night and call her," said Emma with a heavy sigh, leaving the galley after fast finishing her meal.

* * *

She dialed the number and soon heard her say, "So what was the verdict?"

"Grounded for a week and I have to clean the toilets," said Emma with a heavy sigh, she was not looking forward to the latter.

"I see, well at least they didn't throw you off the ship or strip you off your grade," said Regina, knowing it meant a lot to her.

"I do suppose you are right, one more thing though," Emma said, remembering the captain's words.

"I'm listening," said Regina, figuring she could talk to her all night.

"I have to marry you next time I get home, Captain's orders," she spoke, wondering what her reaction would be.

"I can agree to that," she simply said, no debated of any kind, no nothing. Emma frowned saying, "So you have thought about it?"

"I am not getting any younger and Henry needs stability, you are as good as any," she said, casual, too casual.

"You are not that old, or at least you don't look it," said Emma honestly.

"Don't let my looks fool you dear, I'm turning fifty this Christmas," said Regina, it was true.

"Really, I never knew, then again I never asked of your age," said Emma, it didn't really bother her anyways.

"I would have told you if you did, so how are you feeling?" asked Regina, her tone softer now.

"Drained, wish I could curl up in your bed instead of this bunk, you?" she asked, knowing the time would be round seven or so in the morning where she was, making her wonder what Henry was doing up when she called last considering it would have been round five.

"Getting ready to go to work, maybe you can call me early tomorrow your time it would be night here then," said Regina with a heavy sigh. She really didn't care for the time differences.

"I will do that, god I miss you," Emma whispered, hearing her say the same before they hung up. A moment later she got an mms with a picture of Regina in her underwear, saying, "Something to help you survive over there."

She swallowed hard as Rex got inside saying, "You okay."

"Mhm, she sent me a picture that is all," Emma said with a heavy sigh, wishing she could send one back. As he had read her mid her said, "Stand up." She did and he snapped one, she said thanks and pressed send saying, "Here is one of your handsome officer ;)." She got one back saying, "You sure are a turn-on in that outfit, you'll have me tingling all day."

Emma smiled as she shook her head, getting ready for bed, she snuggled up, picturing the brunette on her way to work in one of her usual outfits insulting someone on the way.

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Thank you so much for reading, would love to hear your thoughts :o)


	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's Note: _**I'm going on vacation next week so may be a while until I post next chapter. Do hope you like this one though.

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**_Emails of love _**  
Thank you so much for the phone conversation last night, it was so great to hear your voice again and not to mention the dirty talk. My did you wash your mouth later, I never thought that of you, Madam Mayor. Your moans...In any case, just done cleaning the toilets for now, will take another run on them later. Promised to have them clean as you know, although Captain Ryan hasn't been very hard on me the last four days, all things considered. I would even be as bold as to say she likes me, but I can be wrong. That woman is always hard to read, like someone else I know. I will be back in the air in 3 days I can hardly wait. Your Officier Swan

I did not wash my mouth if you must know, and even I can have quite an imagination when it comes to sex, not that I have explored all that much. Maybe we can try something when you get home?

Be careful about Ryan I don't want you to end up with someone else over there, semper fi, Emma, Semper fi. Well every woman is an enigma; you aren't always that easy to read yourself. You sure love being up there, don't you? I think the only thing that perhaps made me free or excited like that was riding horses. Watching Henry ride, I miss that... Madam Mayor

And there it is again, how you keep on surprising me. And I would be more than up for that, just thinking of you naked, on your back, moaning excites me so much. God you such a tease ;) I won't end up with anyone, believe me the guys here are like my brothers and most like me have a woman waiting back home. And late last night I learned that the Captain has a girl back home, well and children, oversaw them on a webcam chat when I was going to mail you. I hoped the computer upstairs was not taken guess I was wrong huh and guess what one of her little girls looks similar to me. I would tell you to get back on the horse even if it may hurt considering what happened in the stable so long ago. I so suspect you own the stables and the horses, so go ride them you know you want to. Your officer.

Me a tease, you have no idea, Swan. How do you think I always managed to get my way over the years? I have you know even your parents have drooled over me at one point or another. Like my mother I do age with beauty...I miss her you know at times. She may have been harsh in her methods to get me to where she wanted, which late became where I wanted. It was only while raising Henry I realized power isn't everything. You can combine it with affection for another person. How I wish she could have seen it and become the mother I needed her to be. Still I loved her and I know even without a heart she loved me in her own way... I need to change the subject as I am on the verge of tears.

So she has a family with a daughter like you and perhaps even more, solves why she is attached to you, she probably see her daughter in you. You however got to keep in mind she is responsible for you and every other in her command, if something happens to any one of you it is on her. She has superiors most likely also on the ship, but all of your lives are in her hands, almost like children. She has to have discipline and order as it was imprinted to her when she was one in your position. If one plane gets lost and someone dies it is on her hands. So next time you are out flying try to keep that in mind, and the fact that you also have someone home waiting.

Now to change the subject and be less serious, I have gone riding the past couple of days and it is without a doubt great, I feel so free and so full of energy. You have to come riding with me when you get home? Your Madam Mayor

I have gotten that already after all you started eye sexing me from the very first time I was outside your door. Why did you have to give me such a hard time? Wouldn't it have been easier for ourselves and Henry if we had tried to agree from the very beginning?

I am glad my I mean our son could make you see that, gosh you shouldn't have been so afraid of sharing him, I mean I would have let you do that in any case if you hadn't tried to push me aside. Your mother, gosh she's some piece of work or was, but you already know that. The woman tried ripping out my heart you know, but I assume she told you that. She couldn't though as I am a product of true love, are you that also? Did your parents love each other? I never thought of it the way you say it, but I will from now on I promise. You know I always think of you and Henry of course.

I'm glad you have started riding again and I do encourage you to continue with it and I will come with you when I do get home. You will have to teach me though, if you don't mind?

I love you. Emma

Me you were the one checking me out, don't you think I noticed how your eyes went up and down my body. My weren't you terrified the first time you saw me even if you tried to hide it. You were simply adorable :) Well it would be too easy if I didn't. Besides I thought you were going to take him. Having him love you more hurt to the very core, I were never his hero, just an evil queen, even if I clothed him, I cared for him, I made sure her learned all he needed to know, I comforted him when he had nightmares, I... I am not going to get into that you know how I feel, and I will admit going a bit too far without elaborating on that. Remember that time when the court house was on fire and my ankle got busted and you have to carry me out. I should have offered you to come home with me, I regret it later on that I didn't. I regretted how I accused you of harming me. To be fair had no one been there I would most likely have hugged and kissed you *blushing*

My parents there is a story in itself, my. My father loved my mother, he was head over heels in love with her, he was a very loving man and he treated her with the outmost respect. She respected him as well and I do know that they did it; I heard them more than once growing up. She would never harm him I know, mostly because he didn't dare to go against her powers. Anyone who tried would be a fool really. I would dare to say that even if she ripped out hearts he was what kept her sane. Whenever she got angry he made her calm down. Whenever she punished me he was the one to say stop. He knew she wanted a daughter or son to be king or queen. She knew he wanted the same and I do not know if it was love but at least passion. I miss him as well you know; I killed him to make the curse, to be happy. In short I do believe they loved each other at least when I think of it in the aftermath. I mean even if it was not a good thing he would have divorced her and stripped her of her title if he didn't.

I can tell you I have been riding a lot over the past three weeks, and of course I can teach you how to do it. I am sorry about getting back to you so late, but it has been crazy here, mostly due to Henry, maybe I should have him join you in the army to learn discipline, my love.

I love you, your Regina.

Oh Regina, I so wished you had dared to hug and kiss me back then instead of doing what you did, it would have changed things so much. You would have had me right then.

I can imagine it would have hurt when I came into your life, but I didn't intend to take your place, heck I never would. You are his mother and please tell me what have he done? Is he okay? How are Neal and the parents by the way, haven't heard from any of them in ages?

Sounds like your parents did love each other a great deal to be honest. I am sorry I am short on replay I have yet another task, I am helping out on the bridge.

Yours always. Emma

Miss. Swan didn't I always have you, I mean you could have dated anyone in town if you wished, still you didn't. You were obsessing over me if I am not wrong. Your parents are fine or so I do believe, your mother worried sick about you being over there and your father proud as can be. Telling her everything will be fine really, or so I heard. I saw them making out by the diner the other day. Her hair is starting to get longer now, but I take it you noticed last you were home. You should see her when she grew up, her hair it was longer much like mine, I used to braid it. She was such a sweet girl...

He is skipping school, been stealing from the shop, he stole some money from Neal, he's ran away from home only to sleep at the stables, I know he's a teenager and rebelling but I am starting to feel lost. I miss you, Emma, I need you here, I love you, ER

Emma, are you still alive, did you get my latest mail, you never responded, you haven't been picking up the phone lately either, it's gone over a month since I've heard from you. Did I say something wrong? ER

Mom, are you alive out there, I miss you like crazy, everything is so fucked up, I messed up real bad. Please get back to me if you see this. Henry.

Emma, please, just tell me you are okay, I can't have another loss, please, I love you so much it hurts.


End file.
